[NEW IN PARK SLOPE] Choose Your Own Adventure

image via Park Slope Lens

I am very much in love with Park Slope so far. It's actually kind of disgusting. I sit around Tea Lounge like a hippie, I smile at babies, I pet dogs and make kissing noises at them. I Make eye contact and speak to people on the street, I trust T.D Bank with my money, and most of all I wake up every morning smiling until the R train hits Canal street. The truth is, I am young, carefree and not yet jaded. I have no direction here-- the wind could blow me all sorts of ways.

So throw me a compass, lead me by the hand and entice me to become one of you, Park Slopers. Acclimate me to your dining habits and mating habits and cliquing habits. I want you to be there when I go to my first bar, and forget my first hook-ups name. I want you to cry with me when I get dumped by first Park Slope douche bag and then smile when I meet my future first husband. I want you to grind your teeth through my wedding plans and make fun of me when I become a BR-ALLER!

Let's take this relationship to the next level. Through it all I will: bitch, moan, bust some chops and reek havoc on the entitled fuckers that offend me or challenge my morals and common sense. (I'm talking to you Dharma yoga bitch who left her borrowed mat on the floor for someone else to pick up!) Most of all Park Slope, I want to embrace you and all you have to offer.

So, giive me a task...what should I work on this week?

Should I, actively:

• Look for, and make 3 friends
• Engage a guy and get a date offer
• Apply for my Food Coop membership
• or join a Park Slope Meetup and attend a meeting?

Choose your my own adventure (and let me know in the comments).