J.J. Byrne Park to Re-Open; Pending InFIPStigation Called Off

After much bitching and complaining anticipation about its fate, J.J. Bryne park will re-open this morning with an 11AM ribbon cutting ceremony. The park, located near the Old Stone House on 3rd Street between 4th and 5th Avenues, closed roughly a year ago for renovations, leaving many Slopers with the question: When the hell is it going to open again?!

Last week, a reader wrote to us complaining that a chain-linked fence was all that separated her from swinging her ass off in the new park. Here's a snippet: 

At the ripe age of 30, I still find myself wanting to swing. Like on a swing set. And I've been walking by the park between 4th / 5th Aves and 3rd / 4th Streets for months now, wondering when they are going to take down that damn chain linked fence to let us play. The renovation has been finished for months! Any knowledge you might bestow upon us as to when the playground is back open for business?

Always looking out for the concerned FIPS'ter, I was all ready to go digging deep into the twisted underworld of that crooked conspiracy-riddled Parks Department to get the answers (none of that about the Park's Department is true, btw). But alas, who needs to go all Erin Brockovich on someone's ass when Brownstoner announces the park's opening! So... case closed. 

Brownstoner also revealed that the new park has a redesigned play area with Revolutionary-era and farming-themed equipment (sounds like a blast). There are also "adult-themed" areas of park which aren't adult-themed in the way I'm you're thinking. Apparently it's a seating area with cafe tables. You can also check out the Park Slope Civil Council website for more info. 

So in a few hours, find your ribbon cutting scissors, get your ass out to J.J. Bryne and swing like you've never swung before.

PS-In case anyone cares, J.J. Bryne was Brooklyn Borough President from 1926 until his death in 1930.