I'll Show YOU Interesting, Gawker.

Our buddies at Gawker have proclaimed that no one has anything interesting to say about Brooklyn anymore in response to an article in the New York Times T Magazine about Brooklyn as a “brand.” I’m guessing those fucknuts at Gawker only skimmed it for this humdinger of a quote:

"Brooklyn is no longer the home of Luddite dignity within an urban context; it is the very idea of Luddite dignity within an urban context."

Here’s the thing: Gawker’s not necessarily wrong. Brooklyn is just another place like a ton of other places in the world. It’s got some cool shit, it’s got some shitty shit, it’s got some assholes, it’s got some cool people and sometimes things that pique our ADHD interest happen here. However, if anyone was looking for anything close to objectively interesting (if such a thing, to get all philosophical, even exists), they wouldn’t be reading sites called “Fucked in Park Slope” or “Gawker” to begin with. They also wouldn’t be reading the New York Times T Magazine since that’s the kind of shit only people who pay for overpriced brunches do on their iPads.

Does that mean I’m supposed to stop writing and reading about nonsensical but entertaining shit that happens in Brooklyn? While I’m at it, should I just not talk to 99% of people because they don’t really have anything interesting to say about anything (Brooklyn or not)? Maybe I should. But I probably won’t. Because that minutiae is what makes life worth living.

Oh shit, I think I just almost-kinda-sorta got a little deep. Allow me to go back to the shallow end of the intellectual pool, where I’m more comfortable, and end with this: what the fuck does fucking Gawker ever fucking write about that’s fucking interesting any-fucking-way? Suck it.