Happy fucking first day of spring!

Original image via npr.orgDear Punxsutawney Phil,

You little weasel. What the ever loving fuck, dude? Six and half weeks ago you didn't see your stupid shadow and predicted an early spring. Have you been outside lately? It's still fucking freezing! Way to rock it at your one and only job, you punk-ass rodent. I'd be careful when you come out of your little hole next year, my friend. You've made a lot of people angry, and they are not going to take it lying down. They are out for blood. Hope those guys in the funny hats have your back, son. 

Sincerely,

The East Coast

[Editor's note: Corrected to say that the groundhog did NOT see has shadow, and therefore predicted an early spring]