Capture Your Kid's Talents on Camera, Win Free Week of Camp

Didn’t have the time to wait in this line for the summer camp du jour? Well, aren’t you a bad parent. We hope you feel guilty. 

But not all hope is lost. FasTracKids is having a talent show (ages 2-10) and the lucky winner gets a free week at a Summer Adventure Camp. Score!

Interested? Just submit a video of your child portraying their talent in “speech, drama, or  the performing arts” for the chance to win. 

Don’t see a problem with all of this? Let me point out a few.

1. Speech and drama? The ages are 2-10. What kind of dramatic talent are we expecting from a two-year old? It use to be that we hoped our toddlers could string three worlds together. Now, if they're not reciting Hamlet, they are behind (or thoust beith behind) 

2. If the video doesn’t win you a spot, try posting it on YouTube where you can really win. It's the online portal where Justin Bieber got his fame and if you’re lucky, your child can become famous enough to wear overalls when meeting the prime minister. What if your child has no talent, and recording them is painful and embarrassing? Perfect. Your video could be a hilarious Internet sensation, scoring you online riches and enough money to pay for someone else to wait in these summer camp lines. Totally worth capitalizing on your children's humiliation. 

3. Park Slope. Let’s just calm down with the parent pressure. I mean, parents and kids already have to ace interviews in order to get into a great preschool (because coloring and learning one’s ABC’s really takes extraordinary pedagogy). But FasTracKids, did you really have to point this out? “The program's philosophy is that every child is potentially gifted. It is up to the parent or guardian to ensure that each child is exposed to supplemental enrichment during the critical period of early brain development.” Parents, beware. Your child is full of enormous potential and it is solely up to you to unlock the door to the vast amount of creativity your child has to offer. You better not screw this up. Your child could be the next David Foster Wallace or Andy Warhol. If they end up on Wall Street, that’s all on you.