Breakin It Down: The Mermaid Parade

Be nice and welcome, Kitty. She blogs here and may write about some shit HERE.

I’ve been living in Brooklyn all of my thirty-one years, and while the bulk of the borough has become somewhat of a big cluster-fuck of benignity, the one place you can consistently count of seeing some bona fide Brooklyn attitude is down in Coney Island. I was raised on the mainland of Coney, in Gravesend, and for whatever reason, I regularly forget just how straight insane the area is.

And when I say insane I mean that in the good way –-like the aunt everyone is scared to invite to family events but winds up being the life of the party each and every time. Coney Island is attitude. And Coney Island on Mermaid Parade day takes that attitude and clumps onto it a nice serving of huge boobs, libidoed up boys and way too much alcohol. This is the combo meal that keeps me comin back year after year.

There’s nothing more I enjoy than standing around and watching as naked body after naked body walk by me. Boys or girls alike, they’re all beautiful in their own right. Giant breasts like this one here seemed to be every fucking place I looked.

I’m not so much a boob girl, though – I mean, I have two of my own that are prime for the looking at whenever I damn please so it’s no big deal when tons of them are bouncing around all day. What I don’t have, however, is the visual of the man in the silver body paint that stopped my ass dead in its tracks on the boardwalk. Thanks be to Neptune or whoever the fuck is responsible for putting people like this on solid ground.   

Titties and perfection in the form of a male body aside, the rest of the day brought on a few fist-fights amidst the wild ass locals, one of which tried to sell me fruit roll ups, at the rate of 2 for $5.00 no less,  for his High School basketball team. First of all it is fucking summer and school is out. Secondly, who the fuck wants to eat hot sticky slimy fruit on a 90 degree day –-and third, they’re $1.99 a box in the store. I guess you can’t knock the hustle though, eh? Brooklyn’s finest, ladies and gentleman…coming to you straight from the shores of Sodom by the Sea.

On a really positive note, I was pleased to see the number of people there with smeared black paint all over their bodies in protest of BP and the oil spill. Where better than a celebration of the sea, a sea that is now royally fucked over, to address BPs bullshit? This one hottie had her entire body smeared in black glittery oil while making a firm point of telling BP to go fuck themselves. Rock it out girl.

Til next year’s day of debauchery… stay classy, Coney Island.