FiPS Juicy: Best Stories of the Week

In case you've spent the week wondering how quickly the Manti Te'o controversy will be turned into a Law and Order episode, here's a quick wrap-up of juicy FiPS news that graced the pages of our blog this week:

* [GETTING’ IT RIGHT]: BARK

* THE FLU SEASON IN FULL FUCKING FORCE

* COOL OR NOT COOL: CHRISTMAS TREES HANGING FROM A WIRE OVER 8^TH AVE?

* CONGRATS TO MISS "PARK SLOPE" AMERICA

* [MY FAVORITE PARK SLOPE...]: PLACE TO MOMMY-KLATCH AND PEOPLE WATCH

[My Favorite Park Slope...]: Place To Mommy-Klatch And People Watch

The coffee is barely meh, the "Morning Glory" muffin lets you know it's called that for a reason about an hour after you eat it, but, for me, there's no better place to get the full-on Park Slope experience than weekday mornings at Connecticut Muffin. Or, as I like to call it, The Cunty Muff. It's breeder ground zero, where you're practically guaranteed to see some public breastfeeding, or overhear 321 moms bitching about the middle school application process. (I know. I'm really selling it hard). But, what sets The Muff apart from just about every other coffee shop in the immediate vicinity are: the corner location; the large windows onto both 7th Ave. and 1st Street; and most significantly, the plethora of benches outside. Ideal people-watching all around. If it's 50 degress or above, I like to score a spot on one of the benches against the windows so I can lean my lazy ass back and count the MZ Wallace bags that pass by.

It's about as cool as a Panera Bread, and turns into a complete ghost town when school is out for the summer. Nevertheless, if anyone told me they had one hour to experience Park Slope, I'd tell them to meet me at The Muff at 9 a.m.

WE ALL JUST WANT TO BE OK

Grab some tissues and get ready to bawl your freaking eyes out. Ingrid Michaelson, our mega-awesome neighbor from across Flatbush, has recorded Somewhere Over The Rainbow with children from the Sandy Hook Elementary School chorus as a tribute to their classmates and teachers who lost their lives in the horrible tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut last month. The song is available on iTunes, and the proceeds will benefit the Newtown Youth Academy and the United Way of Western Connecticut. Now, try to be cool if you bump into Ingrid buying cheese at Brooklyn Larder, ok? 

COOL OR NOT COOL: CHRISTMAS TREES HANGING FROM A WIRE OVER 8TH AVE?

via Drucie Belman

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...three dead Christmas trees hanging from a wire above 8th Avenue? What...how...why???? Is this a prank? An art installation? A protest against pagan rituals? I do think it looks sort of beautiful, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to drive under them. Didn't the people who did this ever see that public service video in elementary school where the vandals drop a rock off an overpass, and it hits a car windshield and blinds the lady driving and causes a multi-car pileup?

Despite the beauty, I think it's too dangerous and very uncool. What say you?

Congrats to Miss "Park Slope" America!

via Getty Images

Okay, so she's not technically from Park Slope, but Mallory Hagan has lived on 17th Street for the past four years since moving here from Alabama with a suitcase and a dream. After strutting her stuff in a black bikini and answering ABC weatherman Sam Champion's hard-hitting question about gun control in the wake of Newtown, Miss New York tap danced her way to the title of Miss America on Saturday night...and into the hearts of all the Brooklynites who want to claim her as their own (well, at the very least, Marty Markowitz is shitting unicorns in adulation.) And, lo, even better, she is from Park Slope! Lucky us!

Clearly, moving to Brooklyn was a calculated move by Ms. Hagan. She knew that the challenges of being a young single lady in our stroller-strewn neighborhood would provide her with invaluable pageant-winning skills, such as:

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