Adult Only Flights?

(note: video not from my actual  flight, but the effect was VERY similar)

So I just got back from Vegas, and my trip kinda sucked a dick due to a boring set of circumstances which I'll (mostly) spare you from.

Howevever, I will tell you the following:

1. I got some weird 24-hour flu bug the day before I came back.

2. Concerned about my need to run to the bathroom and barf, I got myself an aisle seat, as opposed to my normal window seat.

For any of you who have ever experienced being sick while not at home, you know the hellishness that that entails. I was DREADING the flight home and, just praying for smooth skies and a friendly flight attendant who would give me extra diet coke when I needed it. And, man, did I need it, because the last cherry-on-top of the cake fuckery that befell me was this: the karmic payment for my aisle seat was that I was wedged in between two bratty, screaming, crying, tantrum-throwing little girls.

Here's the set-up: Jet Blue flight back from Vegas; 3 seats on both sides of the aisle. Opposite aisle was: bratty kid in the window seat, mom in the middle, random asian dude in the aisle seat. Then me in aisle seat, dad in the middle, and crying baby in the window seat (in a car seat).

Now these were not obnoxious parents who just didn't give a crap. The dad apologized to me many times (as did the mom), and neither were pushy. However, the fact remains that I was asked to get up THIRTEEN times during a 4 hour and 40 minute flight (yes, I counted. Also, I swear to gawd, that poor Asian dude was asked to get up waaay more than I was, cause his window seat kid was older). On top of that, the parents were in a constant game of "pass this or that retarded baby item" back and forth between each other the ENTIRE. FUCKING. FLIGHT. I mean, is it *that* hard to with all the fucking baby crap you gotta carry to make sure you each have what you need in your OWN bags?? Oh yeah, and the kids were mostly screaming their fucking heads off the whole time (except for the last 45 mins of the flight, when my window-seat kid miraculously stfu for 10 mins and took a nap). Also, before you bitches go apeshit in the comments, I couldn't switch seats with the screaming kid b/c I was terrified of having to run to the bathroom and barf..that's why I chose, and was assigned, an aisle seat in the first place. Also there was not another available seat on the plane as the flight was PACKED. Luck of the draw--me and the Asian dude both got similarly fucked.

Anyway.

This is why I wholeheartedly believe that we need...Adult Only flights! (and, I didn't forget about you BREEDERS!--Family only flights too!).

I mean, think about it: it would be way better for all the passengers not traveling with kids as they don't have to sit there listening to your devil spawn freak out about the fact that High School Musical isn't on the Disney channel, and it would WAY better for parents who won't have to feel self-conscious about the fact that their kids are screaming their fucking heads off and ruining the flight for the other 246 people on the plane. It's totally win/win for everyone!

Obvs, I'm not the first one to come up with this idea. I mean, there's a Facebook group called: Shut the screaming kid up on the airplane for chrissakes and there was that story about that family who ended up getting thrown off a flight because their kid was throwing a tantrum. But I do think that now is the time to revisit this shit...espesh since all the airlines are desperate for cash.Cause here's the thing: I would even pay extra money to ensure that there are no kids on my flight!

And look, I'm a reasonable fucking human being: I'm not suggesting that EVERY flight be adult only or family only. I'm saying offer a couple a day, in the busiest markets and then keep all the other flights as is. Give BREEDERS-n-BALLERS some extra options! I don't know...I kinda think parents would dig the shit out of that: no worries about your kid flipping out, popping your tit out mid-flight, or asking the flight attendant to heat up a bottle; kid-friendly movies and programming; extra snacks--I mean, what's not to love?

As for the BALLER flight, they wouldn't even need to do anything differently (maybe offer a beer on tap, but really--that's even negotiable). It's not like I'm asking for a porn-option movie choice or topless flight attendants...just no kids under the age of 13 or so.

Why does this not exist?? Are you out there, Jet Blue? Got your ears to the pavement, Virgin Atlantic? Cause I'm ready to march on Washington-n-shit to help ensure this shit goes down.

Who's with me?