John Hodgman Answers All Questions, Everywhere, About Everything

John Hodgman plays a PC on TV, but he's not one in real life. In real life, he's more like Park Slope's equivalent of Brangelina. Also he's a "resident expert" on every topic known to man. And a ninja Twitterer.

Over on the NYT City Room Blog, they have Hodgman "answering selected readers’ questions about life as an author, famous minor television personality and a man who wears glasses in New York."

We've taken the liberty of editing the 9 pages of questions down to the most important kernels: all the Park Slope/Brooklyn related Q's, of course:

+ Where are the boundaries of Park Slope, where were they five years ago, and where do you see them being five years from now?

+ As a native of Park Slope, can you shed light on why rich people always seem to live at the top of hills, and poor people at the bottom? This seems unnecessarily literal.

+ Tea Lounge or Gorilla Coffee (and don’t let Jonathan Coulton’s choice of the latter influence you)?

+ Why are all the cool bands from Brooklyn not really from Brooklyn?

+ Who wins in a fistfight between you and Paul Auster? At which streetcorner is the fistfight held? And when?

+ If you’re so funny, why don’t you tell us all a joke? About Brooklyn. Let’s say hipsters in Brooklyn. Because I’ve never heard one of those before. (That was a joke.)

+ I unfortunately am unable to have children. However, living in Park Slope as I do, I have purchased a Pliko P3 Classico baby stroller, which I have imported from Italy. I intend to place my 4-lb. spotted owl in the stroller. Here’s my question: will I be allowed to bring my owl-laden stroller into Ozzie’s so I can trade owl-parenting tips with my friends?

+ Is it true that Brooklyn, NY and Brookline, MA were founded by identical twin brothers who argued incessantly over the correct spelling and pronunciation of their respective cities? Also, which of these two cities has the better bagels?

+ Last summer, I was in Tea Lounge doing the work from home thing, and you came in with a couple of children that I assumed to be yours. You looked very tired. A few months later, I saw Morgan Spurlock at the same Tea Lounge. Does Tea Lounge have a special discount for minor celebrities?

+ Does a tree actually grow in Brooklyn?

+ Why should anyone in the flyover zone (between LA and that frozen urine cake of New York) care about Brooklyn? Isn’t it all some sort of Manhattan derivative? Just a slacker’s attempt at suburbia? And, why do people post pix of the parties they host–all 175 of them?

+ What is it about Park Slope that attracts lesbians, spotted owls, Paul Auster, Steve Buscemi, moms with high priced Italian strollers, Saul D. Raw and the sushi eating crowds at Geido?

when I saw you in park slope last spring, pointed and said “look there’s john hodgeman!” and my friend said “who’s john hodgeman?” did it freak you out?

+ How can you still consider yourself a New Yorker when you live in Park Slope? Everyone knows Park Slope is part of Long Island.

+ My dad grew up in Park Slope. In the 1930s, what were people who lived on 8th Street between 5th & 6th Avenues called? If you lived above 6th avenue? If you lived below 5th Avenue?

We are anxiously awaiting Mr. Hodgman's replies.

Comments

[bloomie]

If he answers any of these please post em. This questions rock.b