Bill Murray Is Our New BFF

Dear Bill Murray,

It has come to our attention that you have recently been hitting up some random house part-ay's in Billyburg and maybe even playing peek-a-boo with some unsuspecting strangers in Union Square, all in an effort, I presume, to amuse your poor, rich, self.

Rad.

I'm not rich...or famous...and I get bored with shit a lot, so I *totally* applaud your efforts to mix-it up a bit and have some fun with your celebrity status.

Only here's the thing, Bill (canIcalluBill? OK, cuil): If you want to start exposing yourself to the real dark underbelly of the NYC party scene, you've gotta get your shit as far away from Williamsburg as possible. I mean, aren't you too old for all that hipster BS?

I guess if U wanna start smokin crystal meth...or learn how to DJ...or join a sketch comedy troupe, WBurg might be the place for you.

But the flipside (isn't there *always* a flipside, Bill?) to hanging out with these young, self-important hiptards is that you're always gonna be judged. I mean, that dude who told you he thought you were "making some bad life choices!?" Fuck that cocksucker!

Come to Park Slope, Bill.

We have house parties too! AND all sorts of other celebrations like kids birthdays, puppet shows, Bris's, bake sales, and Lovocore backyard B-B-Q's. You could seriously keep ur ass busy e-v-e-r-y day of the week.

Shit, if you are super bored, join the Park Slope Food Coop and work a couple of shifts. Adrian Grenier did it and that dude gets more ass than he knows what to do with.

It's cool cause you'll still be in Brooklyn, so you've got that hip factor you're obvs on a constant quest for, but no judgment whatsoever! You see, there's just way less judgment here in Park Slope. For realz. It's almost like you're in a "judge free zone"...or "Lost in Translation" (lulz). Don't hate the playa, hate the game, yo.

Anyway.

Hope to see you this weekend (judgment free) in da Slope.

xo,
me

Comments

[Anonymous]

Shit, I'll throw a party for Murray. I've even got weed.

[David]

Best comment of the day.

[Anonymous]

Billo was spotted yesterday in Chelsea drinking at a Karoke joint with a Danish friend - per co-workers - they said he was nice but it was kind of weird