Disney World...My Personal Hell on Earth

So, I'm going to this Mashable Connect invite-only conference next week, and while I'm super excited about the line-up, and jazzed to participate, this motherfucker is in DISNEY WORLD.

Do you know how much I hate Disney World?

SO.

FUCKING.

MUCH.

I cannot stand the pre-packaged, processed bullshit that is dripping from every corner of that amusement park, the annoying, germy children everywhere you go, the fact that everything costs a billion dollars, and that air of "fake fun" which is just threatening to suffocate you at every turn if you're not happy, and smiling and singing "it's a small world after fucking all."

And to top it all off, Mashable set up this great little forum for people who are going to the conference, and pretty much 95% of the messages thus far have been between complete strangers who are:

• making plans to go to one of the various Disney parks
• making plans to eat in one of the bazillion themed Disney restuarants at one of the Disney parks
• making plans to drink at one of the themed bars at one of the Disney parks
• Inquiring as to the vegetarian options at any of the bazillion themed restarants at any of the Disney parks
• the best Disney movies to watch in order to get into the "Disney spirit" before visiting any of the Disney parks.

Ok, I made up that last one, but still: I would not be surprised if it showed up.

And though I clearly don't have the balls to do so, this is the post I would put up if I wasn't such a pussy:

Hey Everyone!

If there is anyone else coming on this trip that would rather get a pelvic exam than even consider going to a Disney park (like me!) let me know! You can come hang in my air conditioned room, eat unhealthy snacks with me, and we can walk around the hotel trying to snap inappropriate photos of dressed up Disney characters doing things like scratching their asses or smoking a joint behind the kitchen.

Any one know of any malls nearby? Or a Target that doesn't look it's located in a third world country? (we've got it rough in Brooklyn).

Mama needs some new sports bras.

See you in Orlando!

Erica