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Thursday
Nov202014

Whassup: Pre-Thanks Edition

via car-memes.comIn precisely one week, we will fatten ourselves upon the flesh of what was nearly the national bird. We will wash it down with a glass of whipped cream, and then sing carols around the smoldering fire what was once a sense of finally feeling OK with being single. That's right -- Thanksgiving! Halloween "candy" (by which I, of course, mean excessive alcohol consumption from within a slutty maid costume) was the warmup. Christmas/New Year's will be the denouement. But Thanksgiving it the main event of holiday gorging. What I'm trying to say is, to burn off all that holiday cellulite, you'll need to stay active. So get out there, and shuffle through the cold to attend some of the Slope area's many fine entertainments, which won't stop for snow nor ice nor the birth of our Lord and Savior. A few months of shivering should be enough to keep your body in relatively non-disgusting shape for when spring finally returns. Then all you have to worry about for swimsuit season is your pasty, sun-deprived skin. Welcome to Whassup: Pre-Thanks Edition:

* Thursday, Nov. 20: It's You, Union Hall: The fantastic storytelling series "How I Learned" has been rocking New Yorkers' narrative-craving ears for years, and has been in Union Hall for a bit now. This time out, they turn the old breakup cliche ass-over-tears with "It's not me, it's you." Moth champion Andy Ross headlines a set of five storytellers, in addition to charming host/creator Blaise Allysen Kearsley. If you live in NY and haven't seen Ross perform (other credits include the Onion News Network, Mad Magazine and his one-man show "Melancomedy"), you're doing yourself a disservice. He's a master of the Moth-style, live autobiographical story form. 8pm, $6-$10. 

* Thursday, Nov. 20: High Maintenance, Bell House: An "exceptionally fine Web series" (according to the Village Voice), "High Maintenance" follows a central character named "The Guy," who is a pot dealer. He travels through Brooklyn, delivering precious THC to a changing cast of characters. Come high -- it'll be so meta. The show includes a screening of the series and a Q&A with creators Ben Sinclair and Katja Blichfeld. Questions to include, "Have you ever really thought about what hands ARE?" and "Why have you been watching me -- specifically ME -- the whole show?!" 8pm, $10. 

* Friday, Nov. 21-Saturday, Nov. 22: Coaches vs. Cancer, Barclays: Does anyone still have any lingering antipathy for Barclays due to the whole eminent domain/neighborhood transformation thing? It seems so long ago. And anyone still trying to fight the gentrification tide at this point -- well, sorry soldier, but the war's been over for years. Anyway, even if you do still retch a bit at the thought of patronizing a Bruce Ratner joint, maybe fighting cancer will sugarcoat the pill a bit. Here, Duke, Stanford, Temple and UNLV play a little tourney, with proceeds benefiting the American Cancer Society. Because, whatever your feelings on Barclays, nobody likes cancer. Or Duke. 7pm (both nights), $10-95 per night.

* Saturday, Nov. 22: Mamie Minch, Barbes: Mamie Minch is awesome. She's a young singer with an olde-tyme soul, and a deep, confident, ridiculously sexy voice. You'll be sweating, polar vortex or no, trust me. 8pm, band donations encouraged.  

* Monday, Nov. 24: Night Train, Littlefield: Get a little real laughter out before you have to choke out fake, polite chuckles at your dad's lame jokes, and paint on forced smiles when your uncle brings up politics. In the depths of Thanksgiving's forced family togetherness, you can look back in fondness at this standup show, when people said offensive things you actually appreciated. Hosted by the eminently likable and funny Wyatt Cynac, with a set of three other standups. 8pm, $5-$8.

* THANKSGIVING: Get smashed, Freddy's: Family far away and/or for shit? No longer early-twentysomething enough for "#Friendsgiving?" That can be depressing on Thanksgiving, so my solution is the same as always: massive amounts of depressants! I recommend getting smashed at Freddy's. It's the best drunk family you'll ever find, and I'm sure you can order Wild Turkey if you want to be cute about it. Open, like always, noon to 4 a.m.

 

 

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