Everyone: Meet Foreign Dude; Foreign Dude: Meet Everyone

The latest sucka to join the FIPS whack pack = Foreign Dude.

As you might have guessed, Foreign Dude is not from around here. He may or may not hail from a country that borders Russia (i.e. we could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you blah, blah, blah, CIA clearance, etc). However, he apparently would be willing to share all his country's secrets (and/or a free lifetime supply of beer) in exchange for a green card, so keep him in mind, single ladies!

He's in his mid-twenties and lives Park Slope adjacent (half a fucking block into Boerum Hill, people: deal with it). He likes his coffee BLACK and his Tivo set to record bad reality TV.

He's foreign, so he obviously speaks way more languages than any of you mofos do, and yes: when you're out with at some cool bar and you he hear some asshole speaking Russian to his friends and nodding toward you, it very well might be him making fun of you.

Also, he likes brunch...a lot.

And those are basically all of the vague details we can share (you people ever hear of the INS???)