JONATHAN AMES: I WILL GIVE YOU A TIVO!

I was tickeled pink to learn that after his pleas for help on Twitter, HBO bought our fave BK writer, Jonathan Ames, (who's new show Bored to Death I'm seriously digging), a TV to...uhm...watch his own fucking hit show.

If you thought that most writers who write hit TV shows have their OWN TV's to watch em on, well then I guess yo'd be very fucking wrong.

Anyway.

As you all know, FIPS CARES!

So I just wanted to put it out there, that we here are FIPS are actually willing to take this shit one step further: we will give you a TIVO, Jonathan Ames!

Yes, I'm totally fucking serious!

I want you to have a Tivo of your very own.

We have an extra old Tivo that we're not using, and I think this is *exactly* what you need to take things to the next level with your whole new TV watching life, Jonathan. I will even come over and show your ass how to use the thing!

So yeah...if you wanna watch Dancing With the Stars, and Glee and SYTYCD, and Million Dollar Listing, and Flash Forward, and Modern Family and all that other good shit along with Bored to Death, you best send me an email stat (effedinparkslope at gmail dot com)!

I'm here for you, brotha!

Did Adrien Grenier Run Off to Paris With Eczema?

(image: The Sartorialist)

Cause he seems to be all fine-n-shit, with his fly ass bike and some hot girl.

Take note Coopretards!: if the dude is missing a-n-y shifts in the upcoming week, THIS is why--it is not eczema related.

(A Bang Up Job via The Sartorialist)

Cliches & Brooklyn

This Recording, a blog which I know (and love deeply), posted this piece by former Gawker editor Emily Gould: In Which Emily Gould is Bored to Death With Brooklyn Cliches.

UGH.

Seriously, gag me, people.

Click to read more ...

Adrien Grenier is SO Getting His Ass Suspended From The Coop

Ok, so YES this pic is blurry. And YES, I can't quite read what it says. But according to the Park Slope Food Coop spy who sent this cell pic into Grub Street yesterday, our fave Entourage hot-tay is skipping out on his monthly shifts b-i-g time.

Not sure if the Coop makes special allowances for big time Hollywood superstars with big time Hollywood schedules, but I certainly fucking hope not.

More importantly, I'm not quite sure what to do with the information that the Coop KEEPS THEIR MOTHERFUCKING MEMBERSHIP SHIFT RECORDS ON MOTHERFUCKING INDEX CARDS!? I mean???? fjdkalfjalfjalsjfalsfjlsdjf!! If you Coopretards want, I think I have an old Commodore 64 lying around from middle school you bitches can borrow?

Solange Knowles Moving to Park Slope?

Uh, MAYBE! (that's what she tells Oprah today!).

Personally, I think this totally fucking rocks. B/c if Solange is here, Beyonce can't be far behind. And if BEYONCE IS HERE, THEN JAY-Z MIGHT BE HERE TOO!!!

JAY-Z, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!! HOVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Can you see it now? Beyonce, Solange and Jay-Z having brunch at Rose Water (line totally fucking cut, o-f c-o-u-r-s-e). Beyonce, Jay-Z and Solange jogging the loop in Prospect Park ("what's that Mr. police officer? Black Escalade escorts ARE allowed in the park on weekends? I seeeeee"). Beyonce, Solange and Jay-Z at Union Market ("I got 99 problems...but olives ain't one of em"). Beyonce, Solange at Jay-Z at Yogo Monster ("yo, yo, yo! Who wants some Yogo!?).

A girl can dream, can't she?

(via Lipstick Alley)