'Being Sexy Is A Nasty Job, But Someone Has To Do It'

The Park Slope post offices seem to be breeding grounds for intense hate and explosions of disgust, but once in a while they are beakers for beautiful chemical reactions of love molecules (is that gross or hot?).

Lookie here at the following missed connection on the always ripe-with-possibilities Craigslist:

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Let's Get Stoned?

I like cleverly-named stores and restaurants as much as the next person, which is to say I kind of hate them (hearing that “Bah-da-BAH!” drum sound in my head upon noting the cleverness or pun). Park Slope is not exempt from such venues: Pita Pan. The V Spot. Spring Thyme. And my prime target of WTF-ness, Stoned.

No no, not the capital act of being wonderfully high from illegal substances. A rock store! A rock and shells and minerals and meteors and crystals and fossils store (Okay fine, the sound of “meteors” is kind of cool). From the stoners who brought us Rock Star Crystal Warehouse in Manhattan, Stoned graces lovely 5th Avenue in Park Slope. Shiny geodes, crystals, quartz obelisks!

Are you excited yet???

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Park Slope [Sweat Pants Optional]

[Oh, look! Jessica Simpson (before she got fat), rockin the sweats!]

As a former Park Slope inhabitant for two years, and then a "Park Slope" (Prospect Heights) inhabitant for another two years, I now find myself living in Tribeca.

Okay, don't hate me just yet.

The truth? My rent and entire living situation is cheaper than it was in the Brooklyn digs, because of strange but fortunate circumstances. Legal and NOT shady ones at that. Okay, you probably hate me. The short of it is that I live in the combination living and work space of...wait for it...the family I used to nanny for...in...wait for it again...Park Slope! Except that they don't really live here. It's a long story.

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Everyone: Meet Alicia; Alicia: Meet Everyone

The latest sucka to join our FIPS fold = Alicia.

In her v. own words: I'm a "writer" and maker of whimsical crochet creatures...and a pool-hustler when I have to be. I have a kick-ass vintage apron collection and a knack for fixing VCRs. I've read 86 out of the 100 Best Novels of the 20th Century according to the Modern Library and I love sports bars. 

(ed note: WAIT, people still have VCR's??).

Anyway, be nice to her...at least for the first day.