@fakeMTA Is Our Fave New Twitter Account

Seriously...if you are on Twitter, follow them now. They just keep dropping little nuggets of hilarity like this one: 

"L line service extended to Portland, Ore. for disillusioned BK hipsters."

Thank you, internet.

Who Gives A Shit: Where Did You Go To College?

Ok, so if everyone in Park Slope *is* in fact a rich, whiny liberal, ex-Manhattan douche, I'm expecting a lot of the following:

• Vassar
• Brown
• Barnard
• Columbia
• Oberlin
• Williams
• Amherst
• Wellseley
• All the Ivies
• Blah, blah, blah

I'll just get my shit right out of the way and tell y'all that I went to GW...or Jew W as we were all fond of calling it. Also I was an RA, but that's a story for another time. I graduated in 4, got my stupid degree in International Affairs (which has fuck all to do with banging dudes in foreign countries, unfortch), minored in English (also shocking, I know, for someone who uses retarded words regularly...like "unfortch"). OH, and I mostly decided to go to GW when I was 9 because my favorite counselor of all time at sleep away camp, Heather Levinson, was going there and she was seriously the coolest person I had ever met in my life.

Anyway, here it is:

Where did you go to college? (And did you dig it? AND did you graduate?)

That's it.

Again, answer in the comments (and feel free to go stealth anon if you want some priv-ass-y).

To Do

In case you feel like leaving your apt:

• Wine, Words & Wicked Discounts - Author Amy Sohn will be reading from her novel Prospect Park West at the Diana Kane shop right here in PSlope, Thurs Nov. 19th at 7:30pm. Afterwards you can shop and get 20% of your purchases for this one-night-only special event. Wow, so you can: get drunk, laugh at the BREEDERS, and shop your ass off all in one spot. More scoop here.
• A History of Cycling in Brooklyn - Eric Corriel, a BK based artist and cyclist has a rad exhibit going on at the Brooklyn Historical Society about the history of cycling in our fine borough from 1880 until today. Also its interactive, so you won't be standing there all bored-n-shit. Check it. (A History of Cycling)
• Ok, fine: go back to smoking weed and watching reruns of the original 90210 now.

Ad-derall: Dunkin Donuts Tuna Sandwiches

Ad-deral is (Amanda's!) new column in which we rant and riff on the ridiculous ads we're subjected to while trapped on the subway.  From the borderline racist local businesses (1-800-MARGARITA Divorce Attorneys) to the condescending national brands that pretend to know what it's like to ride the goddamned F train every day (Snickers, Delta), we'll tackle them all with the same smug outlook that has made us totally (not) famous.

I think we all can agree that a best-case-scenario normal ride on the subway still finds you crammed up against at least two to four people.  And I'm talking C-L-O-S-E. Like so close you're worried you might be pregnant, because you're pretty sure you just had sex with someone as you were trying to get to the motherfucking Jay Street exit.

Click to read more ...

Ain't No Thang But A Chicken Wing

Have you ever been eating a hot, delicious $0.40 chicken wing on "Wing Tuesday" at Buffalo Wild Wings and thought to yourself: "this is so fucking good I could seriously stab or shoot someone right now!"

Oh wait...

(via Gothamist)

Platinum Babies [My Tivo *Just* Threw Up]

Thank fucking gawd I saw this post on McBrooklyn last week...otherwise it could have taken me months of googling and channel surfing before I came across this majestic new TV series from WE: Platinum Babies.

If you've ever seen their barftastical series Platinum Weddings, you can pretty much guess what we're dealing with here, but just in case, let me spell it out for you anyway:

"Tatyanna, a hip and eco-conscious writer, is not afraid to spend on her second child. Her family belongs to a trendy private lifestyle club in Soho, her friend invites her to a trunk show to preview exclusive maternity wear and the baby's christening happens on a Mediterranean island where the family is flown."

Oh, and you also should know that Tatyanna and her husband live in Brooklyn.

Click to read more ...

The Park Slope 100

Buckle your seatbelts, bitches...its that time of year again.

Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn is putting together their yearly Park Slope 100 list and is looking for suggestions.

In case you're wondering what the fuck the Park Slope 100 is, voila:

"The Park Slope 100 is 100 stories, 100 ways of looking at the world, 100 inspiring people, places and things in and around Park Slope. It can be a person, a place, a thing, even an event. Let me know who, what and where was notable and powerful and 2009. One tip: I especially like people who direct their energies outward towards the better good of others in some way."

Wow, that last line TOTALLY sounds like FIPS, riiiight?

Click to read more ...

John Hodgman Thinks 'Geek Culture' Will Rule

In a recent interview with the Kansas City News, our fave Park Slope expert on all things everwhere, John Hodgman, explains that though we all used to all embrace the "Jock model" of competition and strength, the future is gonna be all about idolizing and embracing the geeks and the nerds:

"Jockdom is very noble. It’s not deliberative. It’s certainly the best way to win wars. It’s the best way to motivate teams of people to fulfill a goal — not just war, but getting things done. The most important way to motivate a factory floor. But as you know, we’re not as much of a manufacturing society as we were before. China and other big industrial nations are rewarding their nerds and technicians rather than creating a culture that makes fun of them — it would be wise for us to embrace the book-smart as much as our culture has traditionally embraced the street-smart, the jock-smart. I’m not saying nerds must have their revenge; I’m just saying the time for wedgies is at an end."

I don't know about you, but its pretty obvs that this is *already* happening.

I mean, on Glee the cheerleaders have joined up with the Glee club and the former nerds are now becoming cool. The "slushie in the face" attacks have already been greatly reduced. So yeah...we think Hodgman is right on the money.

(via PSFK)

BREAKING: This Maclaren Stroller Shit Is The Biggest Thing To Hit Park Slope Since That Plane Crashed Here

Via the NYT City Room Blog:

"There are two major health threats in Park Slope at the moment, if you believe some of the neighborhood’s innumerable young and hyper-conscientious parents."

Wait for it...annnnd: "There’s swine flu and Maclaren strollers.” 

BOOM.

There it is, people.

Wow. Well I for one sincerely hope that we can all get through this tragic Maclaren stroller crisis together.

We will be posting info about any and all Park Slope parents stroller prayer circles (PSPSPC) as we get it, b/c as you all know, FIPS CARES.

Who Gives a Shit: Are We All Gonna Get Stabbed by Roving Gangs?

So, some concerned citizen/neighborhood watch member/paranoid old crank is going around posting notes on the doors of apartment buildings along Prospect Park West, warning people about the increased activity of roving gangs in the area by the park.

I wish I had saved the note, or taken a picture of it with my shitty iPhone camera even though it would be unreadable anyway, but it basically said:

1. Teen hoodlums are coming to get you
2. Srsly, someone got stabbed
3. Call 911 and remain alert

Click to read more ...