WHO GIVES A SHIT: HOW SEXY DO YOU GET?

I know I'm like a couple of years late on this news - whatever, I've been locked in the Tea Lounge writing this book forever - but a friend just passed me an article from the Daily News that says the average New York woman sleeps with about twenty partners in her lifetime (the rest of the country a paltry nine, in case you're el curioso).  The Daily News compared our sluttoriousness to the "Sex and the City" girls, so BTW, if you ever thought they were whorebags, go give yourself a once-over in the mirror.

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FIPS CARES: Xena the Pussycat

FIPS cares! (really...we do).

Ok everyone, listen up! We have another FIPS CARES community assignment. Why the fuck should you care? Cause maybe we'll be helping your ass next.

Xena the cat needs our help:

Dear FIPS,

As an avid reader of yours, i am turning to you for help. i can't rely on my normal BREEDER folks for help in this situation, b/c the problem stems from my procreation. Here's the scoop:

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Daym, Brooklyn Kitchens!

pic via Domino Mag (has nothing to do w/Brooklyn Kitchens, but its pretty, right?)

This shit might even be worse than the disturbing tales of woe uncovered by Eric at the Mac Support Store.

Apparently Brooklyn Kitchen & Baths, a kitchen/bath contractor and supplier on 5th Ave, has been inspired by the handiwork of Bernard Madoff, and is running their own lil' Ponzi scheme right here in Park Slope. Yikes.

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REAL FIPS Doppelganger Week

We all are on Facebook.  It helps us waste time, keep in touch with people that we don't care about enough to actually call on the phone, and cyberstalk ex-lovers and ex-friends.  

But I think my favorite part of Facebook is this recent viral phenomenon called "Doppelganger Week," where everyone is supposed to change their profile picture to a celebrity that they supposedly look like.

Who knew I had so many dillusional friends and associates?  Be honest with yourself—you don't look like Jennifer Connelly or Kate Winslet.  Not even close.

In the interest of keeping it real, I propose a REAL FIPS Doppelganger Week right here.  Tell me who you actually resemble.  I want to see some honesty here: Roseanne Barr, Mo'Nique, Steve Buscemi, whatever.

I don't really know what celebrity I look like, but because I have a large, round head (thats where I store all of my genius ideas, obvi), I'll go with Charlie Brown or a Cabagge Patch Kid doll. 

UWS v. Park Slope: The DINK'S Perspective

image via Curbed

Ok, so this was kind of an entertaining read.

Basically two gay DINKS are considering moving from the UWS to a brownstone in Park Slope, and asked the community on Brownstoner if they thought that was a good idea or not.

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Bite Me, Michael Pollan

It is my new paranoid theory that Michael Pollan, author of Food Rules, was put here on earth to terrorize me. As if living among  organic-crazed, vegetarian/vegan, work-out obsessed Park Slopers  isn’t enough,  I now have to deal with MP and his highfalutin ideas about what I should or should not eat, drink, or buy splashed across every newspaper and magazine page I turn, and every high-brow talk show I listen to. 

Why in God's name should I or my kids not eat overly processed, genetically engineered food from time to time? If it’s not food, as MP claims, what is it?

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Shout Out To Roadify.com

They were out on 7th Ave yesterday spreading the word: WELCOME! Roadify gives commuters a way to exchange information with each other to help with parking and public transit.

Roadify is a platform for sharing traveler intelligence. It helps you find parking, catch a train, make a flight, find the best driving route and more, by giving you easy access to real-time information from other commuters and transit data sources (like Google Transit, Traffic.com, MTA, etc.). We think of Roadify as the first comprehensive “social transportation” company, combining social networking with a wealth of published transit information.

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